WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR MARRIAGE

I thank God for His Grace and love over my family, entire members of Christ Gospel Ministry and all our Radio listeners.

I pray for the Divine Intervention of God into your Life, Business and Marriage in the name of Jesus.

Rev. G. A. Ilori

Introduction

Marriage is the most satisfying, strengthening and lasting human relationship on this Earth. An illustration of God’s relationship with man!

Marriage ought to be more than just sex or friendship and certainly more than business partnership. It is intended by the Lord to be the most intimate, humbling, loving and self-sacrificial relationship between man and woman!

Marriage is said to have been made in Heaven, but the maintenance is done here on earth. More importantly than how much two people love each other or how happy they are before their wedding is how well they talk and share and work out their problems afterwards! And how much time and efforts and self-sacrifice they are prepared to put into their marriage to make it work.

Here, I will like to share some tried and proven tips, some “Do’s” and “Don’ts” of marriage that I pray will help you and your mate avoid some of the common pitfalls, so you can grow together in love.

THE “ DO’S ”

à Invest Time, Attention and Love in making your relationship work or you may lose it.

à Treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters.

à When you feel there is something bothering your mate, lovingly probe and get him/her to talk it over with you.

à Share your innermost feeling with each other but temper your honesty with wisdom to avoid hurting each other’s feelings.

à Be sensitive to each other’s needs and try to fulfil them if you can.

à Say, “I love you” 100 times a day and spend time with your children together.

à Pray and discuss together about your children’s needs and be united about their discipline.

à Kiss each other, say hello and goodbye and always say “please” and “thank you” to each other.

à Make yourself beautiful / handsome for each other and wear perfume / cologne or aftershave all the time.

à Husbands, compliment her! Tell her she’s beautiful and she’ll be beautiful. Tell her she’s wonderful and she’ll be wonderful.

à Husbands don’t forget to say, “I love you!” Words can sometimes do more for a woman than anything else! Especially when they are spoken with love, tenderness, meekness and sincerity.

à Start the day with prayer and commit yourself unto the Lord’s hands.

à Make love regularly. If you need sex, ask for it! - Sexily! Wives, dress up in something sexy for him before lovemaking.

à Be expressive in lovemaking! Set the scene with the soft lights music.

à Be affectionate in public and private! Compliment each other. Constantly tell your mate how thankful you are.

à Call each other sweet names! Write each other little love notes of appreciation.

à Surprise each other with little love gifts! Do little favours for each other to make one another’s life work easier.

à Husband, tidy up after yourself and try to make her work easier. Volunteer for odd jobs and don’t expect her to do everything in the house all the time.

à Make it a point to say nice things about your mate to others in the presence/absence of your mates.

à Listen to each other’s suggestions and advice! Remind yourself of all the good qualities of your mate and try not to think about the bad ones. Pray to see the good in each other.

à Have faith that the Lord can change your mate’s faults and weaknesses. Commit him/her to the Lord.

à Remember to avoid doing things you know annoy each other! Make up quickly after arguments. Pray together for Victory, especially in the middle of disagreement.

à During time of marriage problem, make it a point to be alone with each other. Have a special meal together at home. Just the two of you.

à Show interest in one another’s projects and work. Show love and affection even if you don’t like it. Ask what your mate likes and dislikes or what bothers him or her.

à Pray and read the Bible together. Put God’s will and His work first.

THE “ DON'TS “

à Don’t judge your wife too harshly for her weaknesses.

à Don’t think about all the things your partner is or isn’t doing for the relationship. Focus on what you can do to make it better.

à Don’t dwell on any past failure, mistakes or offences in your relationship.

à Don’t say to one another, “You always do wrong things”.

à Don’t hold grudges or hide your feelings from each other. Bringing things to the open can help resolve misunderstanding.

à Don’t take frustrations on each other. Don’t try to make your mate “conform” with your “image” of what he or she should be.

à Don’t be persistent in asking questions when the other busy or not in a good mood.

à Don’t talk about problems right before going to sleep.

à Don’t stop talking to each other.

à Don’t take each for granted.

à Don’t let lovemaking become a routine.

à Don’t embarrass your mate in the public about private matters.

à Don’t be too proud to listen to each other’s suggestions.

à Never argue, dispute or complain in the presence of the children, damaging effects can last forever.

à Don’t show disunity. Don’t be arrogant, always say, “I am sorry” when you do wrong.

à “Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath” (Eph. 4:26). Always resolve your differences immediately they occur, especially before going to sleep.

à Don’t go to sleep without praying together.

Finally, don’t forget that without good communication with Jesus, there cannot be good communication between you. The most important thing in a marriage is for both of you to have faith in Jesus Christ. With faith in Christ, everything is possible.

Including a HAPPY MARRIAGE. God bless you all (AMEN).